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5 months have elapsed since I last posted and I must admit that is awful! Wedding planning was put on hold for a while so I could finish my degree, search for an irl job to start paying down my debt, and just make it through our marathon engagement.
1) Our rabbi canceled on us. This was actually a blessing. Mr. Sunflower and I chose the Rabbi before we should have and as a result ended up paying WAY too much for her. Crisis averted: The church in which our ceremony will be held will assign us a humanist minister who will perform the ceremony we want. AND! We get to keep the coveted ceremony guidebook that came with the Rabbi because she felt so awful about canceling. So essentially, we can support the church we like and save enough money to cover my dress (yes the Rabbi was that expensive).
2) I moved in with Mr. Sunflower's parents for a few weeks in between the dorms and our apartment. The aftermath is still being calculated but may be irreparable.
3) My cousin, who became engaged shortly after me, chose to have her wedding 3 weeks before mine in the same location. Awesome. Even awesome-er, when I told Mr. Sunflower, who generally has no sense of jealousy or competition immediately responded with a complete straight face: "Well that's great. She's getting married first - we can totally one-up her!" *swoon* Which is, of course, not what I want to do - but his devotion to my happiness is refreshing.
4) We have booked everything - videographer, photographer, church, reception location, minister. We need to figure out what we're going to wear, what we're going to eat, and where we're going to get sunflowers during the first week of a Michigan October.
So, I seriously underestimated the stress of planning a[n Indian] wedding while trying to finish two degrees from Michigan and holding two jobs that I truly love. I do have exciting news [for me]. After a few hectic meetings with Mr. Sunflower's parents, we decided that Mr. Sunflower and I would have our wedding in Grand Rapids with our money and our ideas. A week later, his parents would have a second reception with their colleagues - something that they can plan and control. After that, everything was easy! [Kind of]
Here's what we have:
Photographer - Booked
Kelly Sweet Photography, a local artist whose work I really enjoy and whose prices are not quite ridiculous.
Ceremony Location - Booked
Fountain Street Church, a local Humanist Church that's gorgeous and welcoming for everyone.
Reception Venue - Booked
The BOB (Big Old Building), a local venue that contains several restaurants, a comedy club, a night club, etc. We will be at the Top of the Bob in a comfortable red room with old wooden pillars and a dark dance floor. On a fun note, Mr. Sunflower and I ate in the bar in the basement here for my Senior Prom.
Officiant - Booked
Miriam Jerris, a SE Michigan Rabbi/Humanist Minister who specializes in interfaith/multicultural ceremonies. Her husband is a Master Bridal Consultant.
Our next few steps are to:
- find a videographer.
- finish our ceremony outline (which is sounding quite beautiful).
- find a wedding dress (this summer with my mom and sister).
- finish the creation of our invitation/program/all around stationary look.
Oh! And our date has changed from Friday Oct 1st to Saturday Oct 2nd. 10/02/10.
Mr. Sunflower's mother finally completed their side of the possible guest list. 320 people. 320 people in addition to the 250 that we already planned. It's hard to put into words how I feel about that. I spent a few hours on the phone with my mother. She talked me down a little and I was able to pick out the most frustrating part of a 570 person guest list: as much planning as I have done or can do - we will not know how many people until a month before the wedding. So, a year and a half of planning that will culminated with 30 days to make name cards/centerpieces/catering decisions for anywhere from 200 to nearly 600 people. That's a lot to do in the last 30 days. That's a big difference in catering bills. Not to mention, our venue only holds 400.
On top of that, I'm still having photography troubles. I was scheduled for a meeting with a photography company that I did not like very much. After a lot of schedule rearranging and schmoozing, I ended up really liking them. It's a different process - they work with several photographers on another level. I liked what I saw. Especially the prices - half that of photographer with which I fell in love. But when I too a look at them at home - I was unsure again. There are too many things to write about - pros and cons. I've talked them over with Mr. Sunflower and he feels the same way (about the pros and cons, not the writing).
On a positive note - my mother has been working with some of her friends on their beading skills. I would like to have beaded boutonnieres and elements of beading to my bouquet.
It's been about two months since my last post. Over the holidays, Mr. Sunflower and I spent a lot of time talking about our wedding plans. His parents spent the month in South Africa and that allowed us the space to think and work without the stress of trying to make everyone happy. We decided to have the wedding in my "home" town of Grand Rapids. We were very happy with everything we saw at the Fredrik Meijer Gardens and for 1000.00 we can book our date. Because of the way things go, it would be too expensive for us to have our ceremony and reception at the gardens. However, after talking with my mom, we went and saw the St. Cecilia's Music Center. Their ballroom can hold up to 200 people and we can rent it for 4 hours in the morning for 400.00.
Yes, in the morning. As a way to cut costs and "make things work" Mr. Sunflower and I are having a morning wedding. We're hoping to cater breakfast for everyone attending (close friends and family) and start the ceremony around 10 or 11. We'll have a lunch reception at the Gardens from 12-4. I like this idea for a few reasons: 1) We don't have to pay for liquer. We'll probably have a few wines available, but we won't have to hand over cash for drinks the way we would for an evening reception. Although we don't mind our guests drinking, it really isn't something that we participate in and it's a huge cost. 2) Catering a lunch costs considerably less than catering a dinner, meaning we will either save money OR be able to invite everyone that our families want to invite. 3) It leaves people's evenings free. You only have 52 Saturday nights a year and chances are quite a few are taken up by weddings. This way, if our guests want, they can enjoy their evening at home, in their hotel, or on the town. I'm putting together a packet of things to do in Grand Rapids for our out-of-town guests. 4) It leaves us time in the evening to spend with close friends and family - either for a private dinner or just in our hotel. I think this will extend the day that everyone says rushes by. We'll also be able to have our pictures taken in the morning light (before the ceremony, with a few after).
I've also found my photographer. A couple named Prem and Cheridy from Sterling Heights. They have their own company, Arising Images. Although there is still a lot to be worked out and there have been a few bumps in the road - I really don't want anyone else to take our wedding photos. It will cost me though - more than I'd like to admit.
With that, we have to talk with the Caterer, put down our deposits and we're almost done! I hope to go dress shopping this summer after talking off a pound or two (or 40) . We also have to find an officiant, though we have a great lead on a Rabbi that might work out well, and write our fusion ceremony. Also, my mom and some friends are working on their beading skills to help with some of the wedding decorations - which I can't wait to start finalizing and posting.
